Overheard Everywhere

My Hand Never Asks Where Our Relationship Is Going

Guy: Sometimes I feel like I want to get a steady girlfriend again.
Friend: Whenever I feel like that I just jerk off all over myself and the feeling goes away.



If 8-Bit's Enough for You

Older woman: My first computer was a Commodore 64!
Younger woman: A what? That sounds like a sex toy.



Hey, the Donkey Was Never Able to Make Those Charges Stick

Professor: [the guest speaker] apologized for being so hard on you guys. Although she was kinda drunk when she did...
Student: That kinda compromises her honor.
Professor: Oh, trust me, her honor was compromised long before that.